Where I'm At

Well then....Lets see. I had both legs done. The right one is perfect. The left has had MANY issues due to the preexisting scar tissue, skin quality, and protruding bone under the knee. Speaking of, prior to going through all of this, my doctor and I were planning on having my left knee replaced a year or two down the line. At this time, the protruding bone was to be shaved down. Since the bone has been causing so many problems, I decided to get to ball rolling on the joint replacement. After seeing one of the top joint replacement specialists in the country, I was told that this wasn't an option for me. He said that I'd be looking at amputation either at the knee, or above. I was then sent to an amputation specialist, who shared an office with a surgeon who had previously worked on me. (Lets call him Dr. X) Upon my arrival, Dr. X decided that my appointment would be with him instead. He told me my knee looked great, and that I didn't need a joint replacement, or an amputation. The pain I was experiencing was due to a meniscus tear. I was then sent to the surgeon that was performing Dr. X's own surgery for his meniscus tear. This surgeon had no idea what to do with me as I wasn't his standard case, BUT he said that even if I did have a tear, the pain didn't resemble that of JUST a tear. He said we could do a scope to see what was what, and go from there if I wanted. Seeing as I had been all over the place getting opinions that were polar opposites, I decided to ask for another referral; this time going through the doctor that had done my amputations in the first place. I saw this new guy 2 days ago. He spent a LOT of time with me (way more than most doctors would), discussing all of my options. In the end, if we tried doing a replacement, I'd have such a high risk of failure, that it isn't worth putting myself through it. This is how I decided on an above knee amputation. 

Of course I'm feeling what any person would...but at the same time, I just want to be done with all of this. I would do it today if I could, just to start moving on. However this isn't the best time. Not only are there money issues, but there are personal reasons why I've decided to wait. Unless my legs condition changes for the worse, it will probably be another year and a half until this takes place. I need to pay off my debt, get to a place where I can handle it emotionally, and wait for the snow to melt after all that happens lol. Dragging yourself/a person in a wheelchair, through snow is waaaaayyyy too stressful...So...Yeah, thats where I'm at.

Differences Between the Legs

My right leg had minimal scaring from past surgeries, and the skins quality was fairly normal. The amputation went smoothly. I got my stitches out after a month, and started walking after 2. Right after my first day of walking the tingling sensation from my nerves (which is normal after amputation and usually controlled with meds) vanished. I haven't had any issues with that leg.

My left leg was severely scarred, and the skin was very thin and of poor quality with a bone jutting out under my knee (I call it my pop-out bone.) before surgery. This was due to multiple operations, and limb lengthenings. Immediately after surgery I experienced very mild pain. This was actually just from the cast keeping my knee straight. A few days later, after the cast had been removed, I started having shooting, pin pricking like pains throughout my leg. The nerve meds weren't controlling it so I resorted to pain killers which gave me mild relief for a couple hours at a time. After my meds being repeatedly upped, without much change, my doctor decided I'd benefit from seeing a pain specialist, however, I found a solution before my appointment (which was scheduled a month out from the time I booked it :/ ). Behold, the back massager. Because the pains were sporadic, I thought maybe constant over stimulation would help.  The back massager (Thanks Brookstone!) caused my leg to maintain a constant tingle for about 10 minutes after a 2 minute session. You'd think the constant tingle would be annoying, but compared to sharp pains that hit you by surprise, its heaven. I was at least able to relax and fall asleep at night which I hadn't been able to do in almost 2 months. It was finally time to start the process of getting my prosthetic. We knew the pop-out bone would be an obstacle but I was assured it could be worked around. After receiving my "leg" and wearing it for a few hours, the skin over the pop-out bone was clearly damaged. On the plus side the tingles were reduced almost immediately. I had a modification made to the brace, let the skin heal a bit, and then tested it out again. This time the skin over the bone formed a blister which then proceeded to spew yellow ooze, and a new spot, right above the bone had been irritated. Another modification. Some more down time. I start walking again. This time, success! No further irritation to the pop-out bone. However, upon walking more, I start having a problem with the right side of the socket being too tight, and hurting my skin. A small part of the scar from the amputation is slightly irritated too, but I chalk that up to just walking too much. It doesn't really look like anything to be worried about. Another modification made, and the right side feels great. No more skin hurting. Start walking again. This new spot on my scar has now blistered. It too oozes yellow grossness. Another modification. I stay off of it for a day or 2, and then try walking again. This time the blister turns bloody. I go back to see if we need another modification but I'm not making ANY contact on the point. It seems just the walking is enough to stretch the already irritated skin, and further the injury. So heres where we're at now. I'm supposed to stay out of the brace for 4-5 days to let it scab up a bit, and then try walking again. I'll be updating.

Things All Amputees Should Know

1. Every amputation is different. You can have totally different reactions with different ones. 

2. Go into the procedure expecting the worst pain of your life. If it is, then you were counting on it, and if it isn't that, you'll be surprised and happy. I was surprised and happy. :)

3. When they take off the cast, you'll probably be shocked. I was. Both times. Expect to cry. I didn't but I'm used to seeing nasty medical stuff.

4. It takes about 2 months for the incision on a BK to heal completely. 

5. It takes about 2-3 months after amputation to start walking with your new prosthesis.

6. If you think you can't afford a prosthesis, you might be right, but that doesn't mean you can't get one. Most states have vocational rehabilitation offices that will aid you in your quest for one as long as you are, or are planning to become a working member of society. 

7. Your residual limb is very sensitive. This is a good and bad thing. 

8. You should be aware of 2 communities out there. Devotees and Pretenders/Wannabees. Devotees are people sexually interested in people with amputations and sometimes other "handicaps". People often come of the opinion that the devotees are perverts, but in reality they can't help their attraction. Most are actually very nice normal people, but the community itself has a bad reputation because of the few idiots among them that treat others disrespectfully. Pretenders/Wannabees are people that pretend to be have a medical handicap, and sometimes they go through with trying to attain it. For instance, I spoke with one who managed to fuse his own knee by wearing a brace for 5 years. Serious pretenders/wannabees can have BIID which stands for Body Integrity Identity Disorder. 

9. As an amputee you can do just about anything that an able bodied person can do, you just need to find out what kind of compensation is needed. They make every type of arm and leg device you can think of now a days. You just need to ask your prosthetisis what will work for you.

10. Don't let amputation get you down. Look at whats happened and tell lady luck to fuck off cause you can take whatever shit she throws at you. Just to prove it, you're going to take your new prosthetic and do everything she said you wouldn't be able to. 

Post-Op Amputation Pain You May Endure

Of course with every surgery there is pain involved, but I must say that compared to some of the others I've been through, this wasn't that bad. The majority of the pain that I felt in the begining was really due to the cast locking my knee up, or the swelling from inside the cast. There are however a few other types of pain that can occur.

When getting amputated, the majority of what gets cut is skin, muscle, nerves and bone.

The skin will most likely not cause you much pain at all after cast removal, and prior to, it may just be from swelling and constriction.

When dealing with damaged skin this changes but is still easily controlled. I had one spot with a lot of scar tissue that was quite sore. The soreness became apparent whenever it was touched. After the wound closed, I began to massage it and that pain went away. After the second amputation, I've experienced this pain too but much worse as that leg was BADLY damaged prior to surgery. It was almost entirely comprised of grafted skin, and scar tissue. I massage the parts that I can and they feel better for awhile, but need to be massaged many times a day. Since I haven't gotten my prosthetic yet, I don't know how this will change over time, but I have hope that after I'm walking again, the blood stimulation will help this issue.

The bone feels like any other bone break. Some light medication will ease it.

I cant say I've had much muscle pain at all.

The majority of the pain or sensation involved though is related to nerves. 

The first leg was mostly just tingly. As long as I was distracted though, it wasn't that big of a deal. At night before bed I'd pop a pain pill just to chill it out so I could sleep. After getting my prosthetic the tingles practically vanished. With this leg I also experienced phantom sensation. I kept feeling my ankle. Totally normal to feel this for a few months. If it lasts longer, you should consult your doctor.

The second leg is not going as easy.  Instead of tingles, I have sharp random pains, and intense tingles. During the first couple weeks I also experienced a sensation as if all of my foot muscles were contracting but that stopped. Some times theres a very strange sensation that I get (it's only happened maybe 4 times) and its quite un-describable. The best way that I can put it is, prior to surgeries and medical procedures they sometimes give you drugs through an IV that make your mouth taste like metal. You can't actually taste it on your tongue but you can taste it none the less. This strange sensation feels as though the insides of your leg can taste that metal. It's very weird...

My nerve meds have been bumped up twice to help control this. At this point, a month after surgery, I take nerve meds 3 x a day, and pain meds 1 x day. The second bump came today after I called my Dr.s office because I was getting tired of thids hassle with my leg. I will now take the nerve meds 4 x day and hopefully that will omit the pain meds from my regiment completely. I'll keep you posted.